Trust, Truth, and Lies


That delicate thing that takes a long time to build and an instant to destroy


That thing we can’t touch, see, smell, or quantify, yet we know when it’s there and we know when it is not


That thing that binds us

That thing that commits us

That thing that motivates us

That thing that seals our fate—in either direction


A beautiful, fragile, iridescent thread that strengthens our relationships or burns them to the ground


As I reflect on trust this morning I am humbled by it

I am humbled by the power I have to create it, and the power I have to destroy it

I have done both in my life

I am humbled by the times in my life I haven’t been trustworthy, by the times I told lies and half-truths

It humbles me because I have been on the receiving end of lies and half-truths—perhaps this is the Law of Cause and Effect or Karma

Perhaps in life we have to experience both to really get it

To face our deepest lies we come into our own truth

Perhaps it is in facing the depths of our own dishonesty that we begin to rebuild that delicate thing called trust


First, we must rebuild trust with ourselves

Because what we don’t know is that every little lie (call them white lies if you want); every little half-truth; every small misrepresentation of the facts—these all gradually and inconspicuously erode away at our own self-trust

And we don’t know it’s happening, until…

We spend years distracting ourselves and ignoring our own needs

We have amassed a small or large grave of dead bodies (i.e. relationships) in our wake

The discomfort and un-easiness in our own skin becomes intolerable and

We can no longer tolerate our own B.S.


We slowly begin to tell the truth again

We slowly forgive ourselves, forgive others, and very intentionally do our best every day to tell the full truth, not half-truths

We slowly realize that living honestly, speaking our minds, and telling the truth deepens our sense of self

It also deepens and strengthens our relationships going forward

This is the magic of stepping into trust, truth, and honesty


Keep in mind…

I am not talking about bad people here

I am talking about you and me

Good people who are trying our hardest to live a good life

That’s you and me, my friend

We are inherently good

We want to do the right thing

We want to be better people

We want a happy, healthy life

We are so completely human that we get wrapped up in the material world, the pleasures of life, and the ego’s need to achieve, succeed, and survive

Because this is part of who we are, we are bound to find ways around the truth

We are intelligent and creative so our ways around the truth end up seeming like creative problem solving and decision-making—so much so that we pat ourselves on the back and believe it to be true


We are all subject to living an accidental, dishonest life

So we must choose and practice living a more real, raw, and honest life every day

In doing so we experience deeper relationships, joy, peace, happiness, and health



That delicate, invisible string that binds us or destroys us…

What will you do to live a more real, raw and honest life?


(Oh. Did I mention how unbearably hard this is?!)

Dr. Shanna


Photo Credit: Alex Wong, Unsplash