Trust
That delicate thing that takes a long time to build and an instant to destroy
Trust
That thing we can’t touch, see, smell, or quantify, yet we know when it’s there and we know when it is not
Trust
That thing that binds us
That thing that commits us
That thing that motivates us
That thing that seals our fate—in either direction
Trust
A beautiful, fragile, iridescent thread that strengthens our relationships or burns them to the ground
As I reflect on trust this morning I am humbled by it
I am humbled by the power I have to create it, and the power I have to destroy it
I have done both in my life
I am humbled by the times in my life I haven’t been trustworthy, by the times I told lies and half-truths
It humbles me because I have been on the receiving end of lies and half-truths—perhaps this is the Law of Cause and Effect or Karma
Perhaps in life we have to experience both to really get it
To face our deepest lies we come into our own truth
Perhaps it is in facing the depths of our own dishonesty that we begin to rebuild that delicate thing called trust
First, we must rebuild trust with ourselves
Because what we don’t know is that every little lie (call them white lies if you want); every little half-truth; every small misrepresentation of the facts—these all gradually and inconspicuously erode away at our own self-trust
And we don’t know it’s happening, until…
We spend years distracting ourselves and ignoring our own needs
We have amassed a small or large grave of dead bodies (i.e. relationships) in our wake
The discomfort and un-easiness in our own skin becomes intolerable and
We can no longer tolerate our own B.S.
Then
We slowly begin to tell the truth again
We slowly forgive ourselves, forgive others, and very intentionally do our best every day to tell the full truth, not half-truths
We slowly realize that living honestly, speaking our minds, and telling the truth deepens our sense of self
It also deepens and strengthens our relationships going forward
This is the magic of stepping into trust, truth, and honesty
Keep in mind…
I am not talking about bad people here
I am talking about you and me
Good people who are trying our hardest to live a good life
That’s you and me, my friend
We are inherently good
We want to do the right thing
We want to be better people
We want a happy, healthy life
We are so completely human that we get wrapped up in the material world, the pleasures of life, and the ego’s need to achieve, succeed, and survive
Because this is part of who we are, we are bound to find ways around the truth
We are intelligent and creative so our ways around the truth end up seeming like creative problem solving and decision-making—so much so that we pat ourselves on the back and believe it to be true
We are all subject to living an accidental, dishonest life
So we must choose and practice living a more real, raw, and honest life every day
In doing so we experience deeper relationships, joy, peace, happiness, and health
Trust…
That delicate, invisible string that binds us or destroys us…
What will you do to live a more real, raw and honest life?
(Oh. Did I mention how unbearably hard this is?!)
Dr. Shanna
Photo Credit: Alex Wong, Unsplash
